According to Pat Robertson we all have the power to raise the dead, but we're simply not using it. Wait, what?

"Well he gave his disciples authority to heal the sick, to raise the dead. I mean that was part of our power. You see ladies and gentlemen God is almighty, he is A-L-MIGHTY, and he gives us that power and Jesus said 'you say to the mountain. you speak to the dead person.' He called on Lazarus. he said 'Lazarus come forth' and the dead man came up out of the ground. We have the same power. he's given it to us, it's in the holy spirit. But we need to be in touch with him. We need to behold him. We need to be submitted to him. That power's there we're just not using it."

Well this changes my afternoon plans completely.

Here I was planning to go to the movies with my daughter, but screw that!

There is a dead dog in the woods just off the road and by God I am going to go on over there and raise that puppy from the dead.  And then I am going to start my new life as a faith healer and zombie maker.

I can hardly wait!

Boy I wonder if I could raise Sarah Palin's career from the dead?

Nah, that is too miraculous even for God.