I swear this is the creepiest message from a pastor begging Millenials to come back to church that you will read all day.

Courtesy of Patheos:  

Dear Millennials, 

I know it’s kind of creepy. We want to know where you live, and what classes you take in school (and how much you pay for it). We want to know where you drink coffee; who you date and for how long; what you read, where you spend your money, and what you GIVE your money to; what kind of relationship you have with your parents, how far you wander from home, and how often you go back there. We want to see the depths of your soul, and then we want to take you out for a local craft beer. (You like that, right??) 

And for the love of all that is holy, we want to know why you left us?? Why did you leave the church? Why? Were we not sexy enough for you? Not smart enough? Too needy? Is it something we said? We can be better! Just give us another chance. 

We know. We’re like the bad ex who just can’t quit you. We are the Facebook trolls who want to like everything you like and then tear you apart when we disagree with your politics or your spending habits. We know it. We see it in ourselves. And we are sorry. 

The thing is, we are scared. We are afraid, now that you’ve dumped us, that no one will ever love us again. The generations before you—X and Y—staged pretty massive exoduses (exodi?) on their own. But you…well, we’ve never seen the likes of your kind of leaving. It is epic. It is destructive. It is breaking our hearts.

The author, one  Rev. Erin Wathen who is the Senior Pastor of Saint Andrew Christian Church, then goes on to admit that if the church loses the Millenials that they will have no shot at the children of the Millenials, which kind of makes this incredibly creepy plea even MORE creepy.

She then identifies that the problem is not with the young people, but with the church itself and promises to change.

However I must say, keeping with the whole "ex-lover" theme, that I had a girlfriend make me the same assurances. Not only did she not change, but she got even more clingy and scarier to be around.

I think this is rather amazing, and wonderful news. The idea that churches in this country might really be about to take a major hit when it comes to attendance numbers and monetary support, can only mean good things for the nation going forward.