Drugs (Video) Miley Cyrus Smokes Salvia From Bong, Everyone Gives A Shit

OK, we know, we're part of the problem. 

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But who could resist a harmless gab about wild child Miley Cyrus' latest "cry for help"? Yes, that's actually what daytime newsies are calling it. We call it "an attempt to live a semi-normal experimental phase alongside fake friends who release videos of you taking bong hits to TMZ." Jerks.

But wait! It's not weed! TMZ sources say...... "the smoke filling the bong is a natural herb called salvia which has psychedelic qualities." Indeed, definitely not based on personal experience, the freakish look on her face would suggest a salvia trip over a one-hit marijuana high.

Effects of the drug, which only lasts a few minutes, often include forgetting who you are or thinking you're going to die. Awesome, right? Miley's trip, on the other hand, went more along the lines of "OMG hahahahah OMG hahahahaha OMG." Which is exactly how it should be.

What's that we hear, o'er yonder in the Valley? Ah, yes, the sound of 10,000 teenagers dialing up their dealers to beg for baggies of the hot new hallucinogen on the block, guaranteeing them their very own "Party in the U.S.A." Best of all, it's legal!